Since I don’t feel like enough time has passed since yesterday’s post for me to given an update that’s more than a couple of lines, and I’m going away to a place with very limited reception tomorrow before I’ll have time to post something, I figured I’d try to give a bit more background on my condition as well as more on what I envision this blog will be.
Starting with the blog, cause that’s easier. I’m going to be aiming to be posting in the evening every 2-3 days, sometimes more often, sometimes less. My main support person can bug me if it’s been too long.
For staying up to date, posts will be pushed to my Facebook account when I remember. There’s also RSS and Atom feeds for those of you that use feed readers. If you’re still looking for a reader after the demise of Google Reader, I’m using Newsblur.
Comments are moderated and are going to stay that way. When I’m away, like this weekend, that means it may take a day or two for comments to show up.
I’d also welcome turning this from a monologue into a conversation. Ask questions and I’ll try to answer them. Not sure if that’ll be in another post or in a comment. I guess it depends on how much I feel like writing in response.
I have no idea what people would like to hear about, so I’ll just ramble on about whatever I feel like rambling about, gosh.
The main way my depression makes itself known is through lethargy, which makes doing anything incredibly difficult. While I do have periods of great productivity, they usually only last half a day before I’m back to my general state of meh.
This makes it really hard to do the tedious, repetitive things that my job involves (make a form, validate the data, save the data, display the data, rinse and repeat). This causes some rather unproductive days at work which just feeds back in due to the lack of any sort of achievement.
I usually have maybe one half-day a fortnight of productivity, 3-4 of complete lethargy and then the rest are spent in a sort of “meh, I suppose I can half-arse something” sort of state.
Then there’s the bad days. These days usually start out fine, and I’m all chirpy (well, relatively). Then, with no external stimuli whats so ever, I’m suddenly wallowing in the pits of despair, though with no accompanying albino. These, usually monthly, occurrences end up with me just wanting to curl up into the fetal position and cry. Since I’m usually out when this hits, that’s rather hard to do. It was a more extreme version of one of these episodes that finally lead to me doing something.
In the past, my usual coping mechanism was to go walking with a certain playlist. That hasn’t been working since about the major breakdown I had in 2011. I tend to be fine when in social situations I enjoy, so long as I don’t run out of my rather limited supply of social energy. Though then I’m usually hit with exhaustion as well as lethargy.
That’s all I can currently think of to ramble about. Perhaps the proof-reader will have some more ideas or you can ask questions and stuff.